When Women Cheat And When Men Cheat — Is It The Same?

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The Question

Infidelity double standards. I have always wondered what goes through the mind of anyone who cheats. Is it the allure of finally fulfilling that fantasy of getting sloppy in a dark alley after a wild night out? Or just a need to have your physical urges satisfied elsewhere? Studies have shown that while the most common reason for cheating among spouses is depraved passions and sexual desires; This is not the only reason. The number of cheating spouses increases daily, and contrary to belief, it is not only men who cheat.

Let’s face it; our societal values are now based on what goes on the internet. Now, thanks to technology (matrimonial sites and dating apps), getting laid by a stranger has never been easier. Just a click into most pornographic sites and you’ll find categories such as MILFS and housewives. Another click and you’ll get someone to give you hot, steamy sex a few blocks away from your place. Interestingly, the reasons men and women give for cheating are often different, which is why I sought to find out the answer to this question. When women cheat and when men cheat-is it the same?

Infidelity Double Standardsdouble standard

Most “happily married” women have no choice but to endure passionless marriages. This is because a woman is not easily pardoned by the society when she cheats. She is immediately ostracized and branded a whore or slut for her promiscuous acts. On the other hand, a man is seen as a stud and excused for cheating on his spouse. In the past, this paradigm was a lot more common than it is now. Sexists reasoned that women ought not to pursue men for sex but rather sit and wait to be pursued. The problem with this reasoning is that it didn’t explain why men were the pursuers and women the gatekeepers. Instead, they came up with BS about how guys have a biological inclination to spread their seed. Then, it was pointless to even try to debate that this rationale was an utterly disgraceful assumption. However, there has been a shift in psychology towards human sexuality without shame and more openness.

We talked to a few infidelity therapists and they pointed out that lack of connection, vengeance and unsatisfying sex are the leading causes of cheating among women.


Thought Catalog

While women are more concerned about quality in their relationship, men, however, would rather have their hands full with quantity. Men tend to cheat on their spouses out of purely sexual experiences. But can we blame them? Naturally, men have the inclination to sleep with as many women as they choose. This is a rationale that is common among the men. They are in denial and refuse to accept their falsehoods by coming up with reasoning to justify their actions.

Another school of thoughts upholds the view —

Men are procreators, one man’s ejaculate can impregnate all the women in the world,  as such one woman is not enough for them

This explains why some men continue cheating even after they are caught. The truth is that all sorts of thought catalog can play into a guy’s decision to cheat on a spouse who he loves.

Immaturity, insecurity, childhood abuse, unfettered impulse, revenge, and unrealistic expectations are other reasons men cheat.

Without a doubt, the notion that men are from Mars and women from Venus could have some truth. It is clear that both view cheating very differently and therefore seek different things from the forbidden act.


See also How to Get Over a Bad Breakup